Shun's Journal

Time:	9:01 pm.
Mood:	energetic.

I'm in such serious need of a bookend...some of my stuff keeps falling over.

Erm anyway, classes. I've had all of them now so I can actually comment on them.

Intermediate Japanese is hilarious since our groups are funny and everyone is still really fresh from the summer and none of us remember toooo much. It's kinda fun and awesome that way. And Inamoto-sensei loves me. Which is why I'm her peer mentor for her seminar, but more on that later.

Peer mentoring seminar was good too. Heather did a presentation of sorts for the time/stress management thingamabob that we could use for our kids. I feel kinda bad for the peer mentors who have kids that are already like "you can retake the class but you can't relive the party" and are telling Beau "we must have a talk with our mentees." It's like...half the people have mentees like that. I'm extremely glad that my kiddies aren't like that. Or at least are sane about it.

Plant-Animal interaction was amusing. Josh is such a funny little man. It's funny to watch him try and learn to use the smart board. Emily and I are the only juniors in the class. And me and this other kid are the only ones who haven't taken ecology. I think I'm at a disadvantage. But there were definitely other kids in that class who were in BI106 and Josh remembered me and Emily (so I'm worried about my level of infamy now in the bio dept...because Emily is described by Josh as Moaning Myrtle). Don't know how this is gonna go since it's a lotta discussion about things I'm not familiar with (New England enviros vs. my experience of tropical climates) and er...I dunno, I think my major problem is that I'm a phylogeneticist in a ecology class, but I do need to know this stuff.

Genetics was also good. Sylvia is really nice...if not in the way of making Bernie's class completely loopy and chaotic (which is always more fun). I think Caitlin and I are just very amused at Bernie's growing crush on Craig Venter (but I am also guilty of that). It looks like he'll be teaching stuff that's completely new and not in textbooks later on, so I'm happy.

Anime seminar with my kids was in the afternoon. They're all very fun and are really very engaged in the topic, even if some of them don't talk enough. Though, one of my kids gets very emotionally angry when talking. And I think they all need to learn to be less ethnocentric, but I guess they'll get to it. I mean, that's kinda what college is for. ^^;

Sedimentology was uh...interesting. A background for this--it's a medium level course and I've never taken a geo course before and I have no basis for anything. So when our prof (not Dick Lindemann who let me into the class) was like "here, answer these 4 fundamentals of sedimentology on a sheet of paper!" I had to go and say "uh...this is my first geo course." So he told me to give it my best shot. I mean, I guessed 3 outta 4 (and the 4th one, LOTS of people, if not everyone except Strudel, didn't know the answer), which isn't bad. But when we were talking about like other geo things, everyone could answer and I was like "........." So I need to get Strudel's book and do a serious quick overview (and read the sedimentology book like crazy because we have pop quizzes). The class isn't hard or anything, I just have absolutely zero background for it (and I did NOT have to lie to get into this class). So if Dick has faith in me to do it, I guess I should be putting the effort to try and catch up and do it and get a goddamn A. I don't want to shame him because he's the one who let me into this class T_T

So yeah, now I'm studying for my Japanese vocab quiz. Second class and I already have work for it. Wheeeeeee.

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Time:	9:16 pm.
Mood:	content.

Eeee classes start tomorrow and I've had no time to actually update because of peer mentoring T_T

But the short of it is that my kids are awesome, despite the rest of the freshmen class having lots of suckage going on. I think the extremes at this school are just getting more extreme is why. But wheee I <3 my kids. I just really hope they <3 me~

Much bonding with all my lovely friends. However Ryan got me sick and I got food poisoning, so last night, my body was kinda like "OH NOES WE MUST FIX THIS BEFORE CLASS STARTS" so it fevered and was processing bad food like crazy to get it over with. This made my blood pressure really low and I was lying down so when I got up really quickly to go to the bathroom, I was extremely dizzy. And I was running to the bathroom and Ryan was not quick enough to get me. So I ran into the door frame and now have a scar on my head.

The band-aid makes me look ninja. Sorta. I really hope it heals faster because I don't wanna go to 80% of my classes on Thursday with this on my head >_<

When I have more time, there will be more blogging and catching up on reading, I swears it. My kids are just really taking up most of my time~

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Time:	8:18 am.
Mood:	crushed.

I really don't know how I'm going to deal with my brother for three more weeks. We already didn't get along when he had work to go to.

Yesterday we got into a fight. He said he quit his job and then started blaming me for a messy Pepsi explosion in the basement that was no fault of mine, but something that had happened by itself. We argue, he doesn't listen to me; it's always been like that. I hate being bullied around by him, but my dad's not around so it happens. So Ryan ended up coming over and dragging me to his place instead and told me to stay there the night, so I did.

Eventually I'm going to have to call my dad and tell him this, but I don't really want to...it usually ends up with my brother bullying me some more.

*sigh* I wish I were the older one. And most of my friends don't get this because they are the older sibling. And have a larger age gap so this is usually less of a problem.

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Time:	12:08 am.
Mood:	contemplative.
Music:	Lyrico - "Scarborough Fair".

It's weird having my birthday on Father's Day. And with my parents gone, it's kinda lonely. There's no one around and even Ryan can't get out of having to spend time with his family today. Especially since they've been kinda strained recently because he isn't the robot that they tried to mold him into.

I've come a long way in 5 years from a lot of bad mental problems. Not that there's not a long way to go still, but I *am* proud that I have made lots of progress. The process itself has been a good learning experience, even with all the bad things that have happened and been losses in it.

At the same time, I sometimes wish I could blink my eyes and I'll be 26 and receiving my Ph.D. already. Yes I cherish the process, but I hate tests so much. I'm really antsy about the whole grad school situation all the time. I really wish I got to know John better. Colleen isn't replying to my e-mails and I know I'm an insignificant little undergrad, but still. The fact that she's not replying now worries me about the future when I need her to write me a rec. John is such a wonderful mentor and he replies to me very quickly, but the amount of time that he's around is very limited and he's a busy man. That and well, truth be told, John is very respected in the field and if I can just attach myself to him, I'd be very happy. Though, I really don't know if I can pull the type of brilliance I need to be on the AMNH team.

Really, a long way to go.

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Time:	4:35 am.
Mood:	calm.
Music:	Mickey B. - "Take Me Baby" (Initial D).

I just spent most of the last two hours deleting all my LJ entries except the two that are pertaining to Strikethrough '07. Going through those entries, I had a few that are critical points in my life or I feel like the post is important, so I imported them over. It's not really like I'm looking for anyone to read them, but I like looking back sometimes and reading over this thing so I can say "ah yes, that's why I thought like that at that time and did that." Two of them are friends locked since they're very personal, but meh, if you wanna read it, it's not like I'm gonna stop you. One of the locked ones is pertaining to Ryan and I think that it is a good mark as the really "first" entry listed on this GJ. It's the start of something completely different, something where I'm brought out of my depression. It was a struggle at that time, but now I'm glad I've come out of it having learned something and become better for it.

I really wish I could see some of my friends more before I leave for Hong Kong, but everyone is just so busy that it doesn't seem like it's possible.

Squee, and Liv is so good to me. It's always a wonder to people that we're best friends but are total opposites. We really get along fabulously despite being so different. I dunno, maybe it says volumes about myself when the two people that are the most important to me are opposing personalities to my own. (And I mean that as no offense to the importance of Val, Jello, and piro in my life, but really, they can't compete with The Boyfriend/Fiance and BFF since I've moved to NYC--even as The Auntie, My Daughter, Penguin Master) I get a freshly baked cake on Sunday and I'm going out with them to dinner (combined Father's day + birthday dinner). And I'm seeing Emma on Saturday too! Well, and I was maybe gonna see piro and Jello, but I don't think I can make it back from the city in time. T_T

Somehow Ryan is also gonna stay over for a bit on Sunday, but I don't know how that's working. He's such a darling. He's getting me some T-shirts to replace my old ones that are becoming holey beyond wearability. But not just regular T-shirts--J-Rock T-shirts! He's letting me pick from ebay bwahahaha~ I sent him this massive link list in response and ended it with "surprise me! X3" I'm glad Ryan's grown a lot since we've been together too. He used to suck at buying gifts or about thoughtfulness to other people in general besides being "nice" in the polite sense. It just makes me wanna squish him more.

Maybe the reason why I love Ryan and Liv so much is 'cause the two of them have always, without fail, never forgotten me in the midst of all their own stuff. And have always managed to make me happy and surprised me all the time.

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Time:	11:03 pm.
Mood:	cheerful.
Music:	L'Arc~en~Ciel - "Ready Steady Go".

It's not even that I'm very busy right now, but just a lotta random stuff. The absolute mess that the house was in is no more (thank goodness) and there's a new gate for the dog and everything. However...the gate goes past my waist...which means that I'm technically too short to climb over it. Which is true. I tried walking over it and I injured myself in the right pelvic bone. This is not gonna go too well with trying to do laundry tomorrow. >_>

Also, uber excited~ The mangaka that created Chuuka Ichiban (Cooking Master Boy) finally released something else~! It's called Angel's Frypan and it's pretty much Chuuka with Western cooking instead. I bought the first two volumes a few days ago but I just finished reading it. It's pretty neat thus far. Though the two main characters that you meet in the beginning remind me of Jounochi and Yuugi from Yuu-Gi-Oh!, so I'm already thinking "zomg yaoi~". And the main character has already met his "Fei"-esque genius rival. I kinda like Mao more than the main here since Mao is so much more confident and outgoing and funny to people. This guy...has uber hiding and shy powers. It makes him such an uber-uke. *dies* Though, it still looks interesting and I really like it so far. Jello keeps looking at me really funny when I tell her what's going on and says that she hopes somebody scanalates it soon 'cause she wants to know wtf is going on >_>

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Time:	11:34 pm.
Mood:	lethargic.

The Diru concert was soooooooooooo awesome. Okay, so technically they opened for someone, but 8 songs non-stop for 50 minutes for the price of $40? Very worth it. Especially compared to the levels of chaos at an actual Dir en Grey concert. This was so chill 'cause there were less crazy ass rabid fangirls and I didn't get killed or anything in the mosh pit. ANNNNND was second row (Mengyi wedged her way into first row for most of it...then fell back on me almost). Right in front of Die. And there was a cool fan thing that made his hair all shiny *sparkle*

And we watched movies after getting to the Val's dorm. From which Ben and Fanny immediately passed out on the floor. Jack, Mengyi, and I stayed up so I finally actually went home in the morning, almost ready to faint in a bed and called Ryan and told him to come over.

At home, very displeased. Somehow Pluto got out, made a mess in the living room, and decided to shred many things. It's really not his fault and more my brother's this time, so I'm not gonna clean this crap up. But this definitely needs a call to my dear old dad.

Went to Ryan's for dinner since I couldn't actually go in the kitchen and cook anything (also related to the dog mess) and had no more money. The mutual dislike between his parents and myself is ongoing. Though, apparently, they like me a wee bit more now, for which I don't care and still despise them.

I'm still dead tired. And I still can't speak too loudly because my throat is in so much pain for screaming. But so worth it.

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Time:	1:11 am.
Mood:	intimidated.
Music:	Gackt - "Mind Forest".

Despite having a nice long month and a half of not doing too much besides taking care of the house and the dog, I feel like time is too short now. All of a sudden, the fact that grad school is getting closer was amplified. I blame it on Val...who called me randomly last night and started freaking out over what she should do. Between English professor, Asian art historian, and medievalist/Renaissance historian...the last one won out. After much deliberation. Eventually, somehow that will lead to Blake scholar.

And then we both started freaking out about how we're not going to get into grad school because I read the stupid requirements for staying *in* grad school (I think I'm gonna get kicked out or something...). And then we decided Ryan will collect all of us academic strays like one collects pogs so that will save us all.

Even though Columbia looks like the best bet, I think I have to get certified in Environmental Policy and that's just a pain in the ass but has to be done. >_> I sent an e-mail to Mark today (wtf I didn't know he was one of the guys at AMNH who counted as sponsoring faculty at CU) and hopefully he can introduce me to the dudes over at vert zoo/paleo (or maybe John will do that...if he's there...). I'm just really afraid to ask them to sponsor me when I apply to CU because if I do badly, then I make them look bad! T_T I would be so ashamed...OTL How would I ever face them again? Argh...dilemma.

And I keep reading the dissertation defense stuff and just keep wanting to shoot myself. I don't feel smart enough to be doing that...

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Time:	12:19 am.
Mood:	awake.
Music:	Kaori Nanao - "Mineral".

It's weird...it's the first day of jobs/internships for lotsa people I know and yet here I don't have a job (nor any real interest in getting one...otherwise I would've had one by now) and am just hanging out at home, readying and studying for the GRE (bio one, and memorizing vocab for the gen one).

Sometimes, being left home alone isn't so good. I tend to have these spastic moments where I just suddently develop ADD and do a million things at once and never accomplish anything, even if, in my head I want to do it and finish it. On the other hand, I get these bad habits of doing something for a long long period of time and forget what time it is...making me not eat. >_> Then when I eat it's obviously something unhealthy since I'm too lazy to use too much effort cooking. No wonder Ryan says I'm like a small animal in a cave >_> I just really have a lack of interest in working. I like *learning* but not working. I hate studying too. But I can sit tight and do something for a few hours if I really need to. And I'm just really used to being left alone that I don't even notice that I'm supposed to be doing other things.

Egh. Also not going to Shakespeare in the Park this year. First time in 5 years to skip it. Mainly 'cause the production this year is Romeo and Juliet. Which I hate. (Hell I only watched the anime because Will is damned gay in it.)

Also, since

purezza asked, some cell phone shots of my brother's dog:
( Cute, but deadly to socks )

I hope this dog doesn't get foisted onto me later on. >_>

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Time:	12:41 am.
Mood:	busy.
Music:	Aozu - "Freedom".

I haven't exactly accomplished as much as I intended to...mainly because my brother gave me a call saying he had to go to Albany all of a sudden and that his dog is temporarily under my care until he comes back. It's not that I don't like pets, but I just don't like *his* dog. It's his responsibility but yet I've had to take care of it every single time he needs to skip town or be a slcaker. Frustrating. And frankly, quite smelly. >_>

Hence, the only thing I've really done today is 1) make an icon for this journal. Will make more in the future. 2) Copy this journal over to InsaneJournal. Since there have been some talks of how the ToS there is more supportive of fannish activity, that would be the proper step to take, no? In any case, I'm over there as aznsage as well, so you can friend me over thar too~

I think I'm too lazy to make a layout for the blogs right now. I have stuffles to work on for the domain and some bills to work out before July expiration...that and I'm just a slacker in general XD

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Time:	1:45 pm.
Mood:	busy.
Music:	Jack Off Jill - "American Made".

First actual post on GJ! Huzzah!

I have to get my ass moving on actually making a layout, but in between craploads of IMs to try to get parts of my flist that I care about to move here and chores, that's not happening...yet. I have a free weekend, we shall see XD

Though I must say I am thoroughly disappointed by my flist. People saying things like "you're overreacting," "this happens on LJ all the time," "there's better things to be concerned about," etc. It's not like they think less of me, but they refuse to budge on the matter since it "did not affect them."

But you know what? Dominionist groups give me the heebie-jeebies. Especially dominionist groups who knows to talk money to make a corporation like 6A do what they want. Mainly because I belong to a good portion of issues that dominionists despise. I am a pro-choice, bisexual, anti-war, liberal, British citizen, Asian immigrant, evolutionary biologist. And not a lot freaks me out, but vigilante dominionism does. And yet people are accept that "apology." Do you people not see that you're just pawns in business or something? LJ is no longer about its users. We are not customers anymore. Yes we can fancy ourselves that because we pay them money, but honestly, we're products. The ad companies are the customers now. They have to appeal to them.

*is going off tangent*

*cough* Right...anyway, hi to all the new buddies on my flist! :D *waves* Just a forewarning, this journal is going to be filled with lotsa random posts about schoolwork (I'm obsessively overachieving), some [bad] shounen-ai ficcage, lotsa gaming fluffiness, and probably some overall bitching about how my brother is a douchebag. Probably.

Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiii~ ^o^

And now...off to DDR and bowling. :D

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Time:	2:05 pm.
Mood:	annoyed.
Music:	Due'le Quartz - "Re:Sbia Undead Home de Suck".

Name: Shun
LJ Name: aznsage
"Interests": Visual Kei, PC/SNES/DC/PSX/PS2/Wii/DS gaming, yaoi, One Piece, Naruto, Bleach, Saint Seiya, Yakitate!! Japan, Nodame Cantabile, Saiyuki, Yami no Matsuei, Gravitation, Densha Otoko, Biology, Paleontology, Natural History, Doraemon, Kogepan, Bunnies, Penguins, Gundam, probably some others that I'm forgetting

Even though LJ has not quite yet gotten to all the other journals that may be targetted, it's not to say they have another lapse of judgement and this happens again/whenever 6A decides to say that fan-pr0n is a liability. The way that this whole thing was execute--paying attention to what a vigilante watchdog group says after pressuring their advertisers, THEN going back two days later to appease their actual customers--that's just bad business. It's not the first time I've seen this tactic used in business and it's always a bad sign. It's time to move.

Add me if you want, I don't really know too many people on GJ (^o^)

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